With Valentine’s Day approaching, many couples are thinking about love and intimacy. Unfortunately, if either or both are experiencing back pain, having sex in celebration of the holiday can present a problem.
Fear not young (or older) lovers! Dr. Rey Bosita, a spine surgeon at Texas Back Institute and close, personal friend of cupid, agreed to offer his professional advice for better sex in spite of back pain.
While Dr. Bosita’s advice is not intended to replace that of a trained relationship counselor, it is based on his experience in helping patients who have back pain enjoy better sex.
Techniques to Try Before Having Sex
What back and spine conditions can cause pain and keep couples from having great sex?
“Some people think that NOTHING can keep them from having great sex,” he laughed. “Seriously, someone who has had back surgery or has back pain can have difficulties with even moderately active sex.”
Dr. Bosita suggested some things that can be done before tackling intimacy.
“Sex is a physically strenuous activity,” he said, “Just like playing sports or running, the better shape a person is in when they have sex, the better they will perform and the more they will enjoy it. Cross-training can help as can cardiovascular fitness. Flexibility is also important to a rewarding sex life, especially for those who want to pursue more creative love-making positions.”
Foreplay, in the form of massaging, can set a better mood for intense intimacy and it can also loosen those back and leg muscles which might be causing pain.
Better Sexual Positions to Avoid Back Pain
Starting with the seminal sex research from Masters and Johnson, it has been noted that the missionary position is the most common and popular sexual position. While this is the “go-to” position for many couples, is it conducive to avoiding back pain?
“Ironically, the missionary position is one of the worst positions for back pain,” Dr. Bosita noted. “This is especially true for the partner who is on the bottom. When the person on the bottom flexes their hips to keep their legs lifted, it can put a lot of pressure on the back. It’s a physical challenge. There are other positions that are easier to maintain during sex.
“Having one partner on her/his hands and knees while the other partner is behind is one of the favorite positions for those with back pain,” he said. “The important consideration for this position is correct body placement. Finding the correct height makes this position more comfortable.”
“Having one partner sit on the side of the bed or in a chair, while the other straddles is a very popular position, but is it back-friendly?” Dr. Bosita explains.
“This position can be painful for the person on the bottom,” he noted. “This position, especially on a chair or sofa, involves putting a partner’s back at an awkward angle. It’s best to use this position in a bed. Couples need to remember to start lower in the bed because the natural tendency is for the lovers to ‘ride’ their way up to the headboard.
“Another spine friendly position involves the one partner on their knees, with the other facing up, and knees bent or straight up against the other’s chest/shoulders,” he said. “This allows the couples to share in work and in movement.”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” smiled Dr. Bosita. “It just requires a little creativity and communication.”
“I did my best research on this topic,” he smiled “Happy Valentine’s Day from Texas Back Institute!”
If you or your partner experience back pain that is interfering with your intimacy or if you plan on getting a little frisky with your spouse or significant other in celebration of Valentine’s Day, don’t let back pain get in the way of a good time. Contact us for an appointment.